Heber And The Minister.

Many years ago in a foreign country, the local minister decided that all the Mormons had to leave the city. Naturally, there was a big uproar from the Mormon community. So, the minister made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Mormon community. If the Mormon won, the Mormons could stay. If the minister won, the Mormons would leave.

Realizing they had no choice, the Mormons picked a young missionary from Idaho named Heber, to represent them.

Not able to speak the language very well, Heber asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side could talk. The minister agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Heber and the minister sat opposite each other for a full minute before the minister raised his hand and showed three fingers. Heber looked back at him and raised one finger.

The minister waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Heber pointed to the ground where he sat.

The minister pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Heber pulled out an apple.

The minister stood up and said, "I give up! This man is too good! The Mormons can stay."

Afterwards, the church council, gathered around the minister, asking him to explain what had happened. The minister said, "First, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.

Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile the Mormon community and all the missionaries had crowded around Heber. "What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Heber, "First he said to me that the Mormons had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. He told me that his whole city would be cleared of Mormons. I let him know we were staying right here."

"And then?" asked a woman. "I don't know," said Heber, "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

HOGS.

The kids have all been sick, including the smallest, and she's teething on top of that. All she wants to do is be hugged. So, she's sitting in my lap now, getting "hoggies."

My oldest son got dumped by his girlfriend. No big loss, really -- she struck me as kind of a loser. Although he's devastated, I'm secretly relieved. He deserves better than they way she treated him. I am also praying over him quite a bit, so that he might find consolation and that he may find people in his life who will treat him with respect. He's a self-professed agnostic with no desire to serve a mission, but I'm working on that in my prayers.

The weather has been very pleasant. Lot's of sunshine, breezes, and 71 degrees. The Mrs. and I went out to lunch, at a place called Joe's Crab Shack. The sign in the window says "show her you love her -- give her crabs." I had the crab-stuffed shrimp, and it was pretty good.

The frozen pipe melted and luckily there wasn't a leak. There still may be the problem of weakened walls in the pipe, but so far nothing has burst.

Colder Than A......

It's been cold. Freakin' cold.

The line from our hot water tank froze, so right now we only have cold water running in the house. Yup. Imagine taking a bath in that. Unless we have money to pay a plumber to use a blow torch to defrost the line, which we don't, we're going to have to wait for warmer weather for it to thaw before we have have the leak fixed. The line will have a big leak when it thaws.

My blood pressure is sky high, I have trouble sleeping because of apnea, I wake up with splitting headaches all the time, and we have no money to treat any of that.

I tell you, it just doesn't get any better.

Omigosh! The Mormons Are Taking Over!

In spite of all my ranting, I must admit to you now that there is one claim the Anti-Mormons make that is absolutely true. Walter Martin and Ed Decker pronounced in their most shrill conspiracy theory screeches that the Mormons are going to take over the world.

GUESS WHAT -- WE WILL. The Anti's had better get used to the idea. Watch this video and you'll see what I mean.

We are the Mormon Borg Collective!
You will be assimilated!
Resistance is futile!

He's a Char -- Oops, I Mean Consultant.

Carnival barker. Charlatan. That's the kind of thing people call Joseph Smith. Yet these very same people, like pastor Bob Larson, who claim to be "cult experts" are up to their eyebrows in books, tapes, and all sorts of highly profitable money producing products and businesses.

"Anti-cult" preaching is big business. Bob Larson has operations in "more than 90 countries" according to his website. Enterprises that extensive (if his claim is to be believed) need money to operate. Lots of money. Where does he get it? Books, tapes, donations, and his favorite tactic of P.T. Barnum showmanship, the so-called "exorcisms" which are no more that deep trance hypnosis elicited by an amateur hypnotist.

Fakery. Total fakery. Any reputable, knowledgeable skeptic or medical doctor will tell you that's what Bob Larson's exorcism side-shows actually are. Yet, this guy has the spleen to criticize Joseph Smith and the Mormon church.

If Bob Larson doesn't like my beliefs about Joseph Smith, that's one thing. I really don't care if Joseph Smith said the moon was made of cheese, the earth is hollow, and socks go from the drier to another dimension, or anything else Anti-Mormons rail on us about. But when a fraudulent con-man has the brass to accuse Joseph Smith of fraud, that's where I draw the line.

Too many people in the church are complete sheep when it comes to Anti-Mormons. I believe we need to aggressively defend ourselves against fraudulent critics like D.J. Nelson, Walter Martin, Ed Decker, and all the others who line their bank accounts with COLD CASH from books that exploit people's fears. The Jews defend themselves with the Anti-Defamation League. Though I oppose Scientology, their security operations against money-motivated, fear-mongering critics have alot to be learned from.

Speaking of Walter Martin, he lived in a very large, lavish house in Southern California while I served as an LDS missionary in Anaheim twenty years ago. Lavish as in "money comes pouring in from exploiting people's fear and intolerant bigotry" lavish. So-called "Dr." Walter Martin claims credentials that don't stand up under investigation. [link]

I'm tired of standing by while obnoxious, slick tongued salsemen bozos attack my beliefs. Bozos who hold beliefs of their own that are just as frail, tenuous, and ridiculous when put to the test by skeptics or atheists.

The reason I am on this rant is that I had the misfortune this evening of watching Bob Larson spew his fear-mongering crap on national television. I wanted to hurl a brick through the screen.

Fortunately I found some information about "Bunko" Larson. According to Wikipedia, his radio show was surrounded by allegations of financial fraud. It is also alleged that Larson is a total horn-dog, fooling around with his secretaries. Larson married one of his secretaries right after he divorced his wife; coincidentally, of course. He even went so far as to plagiarize fiction written by one of his staff members. Australian film maker John Safran "admitted that he may have been psychologically manipulated by Larson" when The Bob-ster performed a live exorcism upon him.

One of Larson's cassettes even goes so far as to say that dinosaurs are still alive today. Now THAT is plum crazier than anything Joseph Smith may have taught. Any respectable paleontologist would call that complete fraud.

Here are more resources about "Bunko" Larson:

• Article at Cornerstone.com
• Dissertation about Boob (I mean Bob) from U.M. Kansas City
• "Shy David's" page at Holy Smoke dotorg
  

DemaPublicans and Republicrats.

My wife (K) believes the Democrats will probably carry the next presidential election, and I think she's right. I'm so ticked off at the Republicans right now it's unreal. They had the opportunity in the last several years to really make some good conservative changes, and all they do is get caught up in corruption and sex scandals. The only thing I hate worse than a Democrat politician is a Republican idiot who drops the ball and costs the party its position and influence. Right now the Republican party is chock-full of fumbling idiots. It makes me want to be a Libertarian.

Mosiah 29:27
"27 And ^aif the time comes that the voice of the people doth choose iniquity, then is the time that the judgments of God will come upon you; yea, then is the time he will visit you with great destruction even as he has hitherto visited this land."

Alma 10: 19

"19 Yea, well did Mosiah say, who was our last king, when he was about to deliver up the kingdom, having no one to confer it upon, causing that this people should be governed by their own voices—yea, well did he say that if the time should come that the voice of this people should ^achoose iniquity, that is, if the time should come that this people should fall into transgression, they would be ripe for destruction."

Some days, I really fear for this land.