That's Just The Way It Is.

THE MISSION PRESIDENT: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, Is more powerful than a locomotive, Is faster than a speeding bullet, Walks on water, Associates with God.

THE ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings in a single bound, Is more powerful than a switch engine, Is just as fast as a speeding bullet, Walks on water if the sea is calm, Talks with God.

THE ZONE LEADER: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds, Is almost as powerful as a switch engine, Is faster than a decelerating bullet, Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool, Talks with God if special request is approved.

THE DISTRICT LEADER: Barely clears a mud hut, Loses tug-of-war with locomotives, Can fire a speeding bullet, Swims well, Is occasionally addressed by God.

THE SENIOR COMPANION: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap tall buildings, Is run over by locomotives, Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, Dog paddles, Talks to animals.

THE JUNIOR COMPANION: Runs into buildings, Recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3 times, Is not issued ammunition, Can stay afloat with a life jacket, Talks to walls.

THE GREENIE: Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings. Says, "Look at the choo-choo!" Wets himself with a water pistol, Plays in mud puddles, Mumbles to himself.

THE SISTER MISSIONARIES: Lifts buildings and walks under them, Kicks locomotives off the tracks, Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them, Freezes water in a single glance, Knows God.

Yes Ma'am, Daddy.

"E" discovered her mamma's craft paints. ACRYLIC craft paints. She got stains on momma's uniform. Not a good scene.

I had to use "the daddy voice" and give her a lecture about playing with things that don't belong to her. Usually with "the daddy voice" I can scare the living snot out of them without actually raising the volume.

"E" could barely put together her apology. "Yes ma'am, daddy..." she said.